Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Giant Douche Award - O'Niel Bell





The second Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award is presented to: O'Niel Bell

Today's lesson:

Q: When is it time to find a new sparring partner?
A: When they start throwing hachets at you


Okay so lets review. Here are facts from this story:

  • O'Neil Bell is the World Cruiser Weight Champion
  • Larry Slayton is a 37 year old sparring partner to O'Neil Bell.
  • The two were running in the woods.
  • Apparently they like to run in woods full of bears because Bell had an ax with him to fend off bears
  • There was an argument
  • Bell throws an ax at Slayton
  • Slayton runs away


I don't even know where to go from here. There are two many jokes to make. So lets begin with looking at this from Slayton's point-of-view. This man needs to seriously re-examine his life. If you are 37 and a sparring partner, it may be time for some night-school classes. Or at least become a coach, why would you subject yourself to being beaten up so that the guy beating you up has a better shot of beating up someone else? Maybe its just me. Then, if the place that you jog has so many bears around that you need to carry an ax....FIND A NEW DAMN PLACE TO RUN!!! I mean, what sort of person decides that a trail full of bears is a good workout spot for you. Its times like this the term Natural Selection comes to mind.


Now from Bell's point-of-view, this gets really good. So lets say that you are a trained fighter - a champion even. Lets say that you get into an argument with that person. Do you:


A) tell him that you are upset, work out your feelings with the guy, and share a snickers?
B) repress your feelings since you are a guy?
C) use your lifetime of training to fight the guy?
D) throw an ax at him?

Well if your first name is O'Neil, then apparently you throw an ax at him. Thus earning yourself the Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award.

Congrats O'Neil. Enjoy prison.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

First Ever Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award: Boston - Stupidest City in America

Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award




That's right, its the first annual...weekly...daily Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award. The innagural winner is none other than Boston's mayor Thomas Menino





For the record, that is him on the right.

This site is lucky enough to have an interview with our honorable mayor about the situation with the lite-brites in Boston.

SA: Thank you so much for talking to us sir. I'm sure you are very busy today

Menino: unintelligible mumbling

SA: Ummm, thanks. So what was the reason for Boston reacting in such an extreme manner to this ad campaign?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling

SA: Okkkkkkkkay. Did you realize that these small, harmless boxes had been in Boston for 3 weeks now?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling chowdah!! unintelligible mumbling

SA: So how can you explain the fact that many other cities had this ad campaign and did not react like Boston did?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling *takes plain white envelope from a teamster*

SA: What do you have to say to those of us who are now embarrassed to be associated with Boston?

Menino: Gooooooo Sox

SA: Thank you for your time, you Giant Douche.