Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Giant Douche Award - O'Niel Bell

The second Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award is presented to: O'Niel Bell

Today's lesson:

Q: When is it time to find a new sparring partner?
A: When they start throwing hachets at you

Okay so lets review. Here are facts from this story:

  • O'Neil Bell is the World Cruiser Weight Champion
  • Larry Slayton is a 37 year old sparring partner to O'Neil Bell.
  • The two were running in the woods.
  • Apparently they like to run in woods full of bears because Bell had an ax with him to fend off bears
  • There was an argument
  • Bell throws an ax at Slayton
  • Slayton runs away

I don't even know where to go from here. There are two many jokes to make. So lets begin with looking at this from Slayton's point-of-view. This man needs to seriously re-examine his life. If you are 37 and a sparring partner, it may be time for some night-school classes. Or at least become a coach, why would you subject yourself to being beaten up so that the guy beating you up has a better shot of beating up someone else? Maybe its just me. Then, if the place that you jog has so many bears around that you need to carry an ax....FIND A NEW DAMN PLACE TO RUN!!! I mean, what sort of person decides that a trail full of bears is a good workout spot for you. Its times like this the term Natural Selection comes to mind.

Now from Bell's point-of-view, this gets really good. So lets say that you are a trained fighter - a champion even. Lets say that you get into an argument with that person. Do you:

A) tell him that you are upset, work out your feelings with the guy, and share a snickers?
B) repress your feelings since you are a guy?
C) use your lifetime of training to fight the guy?
D) throw an ax at him?

Well if your first name is O'Neil, then apparently you throw an ax at him. Thus earning yourself the Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award.

Congrats O'Neil. Enjoy prison.


SlickBomb said...

Bad news, HoC.


You still have Jaret Wright, though.

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