Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Blog Update

No new post tonight. Why you ask?


Because I am fucking doing a fucking project fucking plan for fucking work on Microsoft fucking Project.


This is me right now -

Thursday, March 1, 2007

5 Stories I'll Be Watching

Ahhhh spring in Boston. That means its snowing out right now (2-4 inches expected). I'm not kidding. And I moved here why?

Today was the real beginning of spring training when teams begin playing each other. We get our first looks the new additions, the young unknowns, and the veterans ready for another year on the battlefield.

As teams prepare anew for the yearly dance, let us prepare as well for some of the more interesting plots of the new year. These stories will capture our attention as the year progresses and represent some of the reasons that baseball is our national pastime. For this post, I am going with all positive concepts so there will be no mention of steroids, Sen. Mitchell, or Barry Bonds. No, just as the teams get to look at the sunrise of this year with hope and optimism, so do we.

1. Young Superstars
Baseball is currently blessed with an abundance of young talent. Players with such gifts as to conjure images of Griffey, Clemens, and Ripken. Yes baseball can sit back and relax with the knowledge that the game is in good hands. Names like Mauer, Cabrera, Pujols, and Papelbon have elicited excitement among fans new and old. And they are plentiful. There are more names on the list like Markakis, Sizemore, and Wright. Soon Clemens, Pedro, Ramirez, and Maddux will be off to the Hall of Fame and our allegiance will turn to many of names I've already listed.

I think that other than winning a championship, there is nothing more excited, more breath-taking, more awe-inspiring than watch a young talented player make the leap into greatness. Seeing the combination of hard work, skill, talent, and drive come together to form a magical specimen of athletic excellence represents one of the aspects of sports that hooks us for life.

Update - Young Ryan Howard was mistakenly left off this list. He opitimizes the excitment of a young superstar. Big E for me.

2. 20 Game Winners
There are two types of football fans: those who like offensive and those who like defense. If asked about my favorite sports stars of my life, many defensive players are listed. When translated to baseball, defensive becomes pitching. Some fans love games that 1-0 and some find them boring. I happen to think that a good pitching battle is the beat theatre that baseball can provide. Two athletes up on the stage, battling each other despite never facing each other. Two managers using all of their resources to sway the game toward their favor.

To that end, seeing a pitcher reach the goal of 20 wins in a single season is a victory for all those who relish the pitching battle. Last year there were no such occurrences. No pitcher was able to reach that mark. In fact, in the last 3 years, we have been allowed to enjoy only 7 20 game winners. Let us hope that this year proves more fruitful for pitching.

3. Albert Pujols
When everything comes together correctly, and injuries are avoided, and the baseball gods are smiling, we get a player like Albert Pujols. His numbers don't even seem real. At this pace, Pujols will be said in the same breath as Mantle, Mays, and Frank Robinson. At such a young age to have accomplished so much and to seem so motivated to do more is a gift to us all.

Let us soak in every moment of his career. The man with tree trunks for legs will be fodder for our grandkids. Records could be shattered at this pace. But that line has been muttered before. When I grew up, we all assumed that Junior Griffey would hold every record in the book. We hoped for it. We felt a part of it. It was not too be. But maybe, just maybe, Pujols will give us that feeling again.

4. The AL East
Right behind winning a championship and maybe above watching a young player become great, is realizing that an underdog is going to overthrow the established, veteran team. The AL East happens to be occupied by two teams that expect to win every year. The fan bases are mirror images of each other at this point. The ownerships act the same. Its win it all at any cost (not saying that in a negative way).

But trouble brews below in the depths of the division. The Blue Jays have been building a contender for a couple years now. The Orioles are finally on the right path with some young talent and an upgraded bullpen. These two teams should be rooting for each other now. If either one causes upheaval in the division, it is a victory for baseball not just one team's fan base.

Sure, having Sox-Yanks is great for people who live off of 90 and those broadcasting from Bristol. But variety is the spice of life. We need change. Times always change, they need to. Is this the year that the Evil Empire and the Nation fall? Who knows. But we'll be watching to see if it does.

5. Records
One of baseball's magic qualities is its ability to provide something new every year. There is a possibility that every time you watch a baseball game, you will see something that has never happened before in the long history of our pastime. Will someone hit 5 hrs in a game? Will someone strike out 21 people? Can a team win more games than any team before it? How many grand slams will be see this year? How many stolen bases?

What will we see this year that we have never seen before? What unforeseen magic will baseball give to us? I don't know, but I will be watching for it....

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Today's Reason Why ESPN Sucks

This is a really negative article about ESPN. So let me preface this by saying that overall, ESPN still rocks. I go there for a lot of sport's news and facts. The website was instrumental in putting together my O's Season Preview. But I feel that the quality of the product has been declining in the last few years. So today I present:

Things from today that exemplify why ESPN sucks now:


Okay so this almost because another Giant Douche Award to Scoop Jackson for his pathetic column today that conveniently plays the race card in order to avoid a serious conversation about the dangerous combination of sports, youth, money, sex, drugs, and violence.

I don't want to go on a rant here but....

I am so fucking sick of that happening. Some bad shit went down in Vegas this weekend but according to Scoop. nothing happened and anyone saying so is a racist. Fuck him. That column was such a cop-out. According to every report (both valid and unsubstantiated), Vegas was a mess this weekend.

So Scoop, is this an indictment of the black race??? No you dipshit!! Its an indictment of the culture around sports today and its propensity towards violence. Don't you think that there were enough white, asians, mexicans and others causing trouble this weekend. By hiding behind the race card, we as a culture are missing an opportunity to make things better by asking some tough questions.

Why do I have to read about this when I go to Page2? Page2 was created to talk about the Lighter Side of Sports. Any stories that weren't funny were supposed to be interesting. Once in a while, Ralph Wiley would write some article that containing a racial argument. The difference then, when Ralph wrote something like this, there was intelligence and a gift for writing about it.

Page2 has turned into a creep show. The stories up on Page2 speak about the following subjects:

I mean, holy shit, why would I read this? I used to really look forward to Page2 being updated every day. The articles were funny, insightful, and interesting. They had Simmons (at his peak), Wiley (always good), the late-great Hunter S. Thompson (must read), Shanoff's Morning Quickie (I think I liked it more than others) and several quality bench players.

Now look at it. If you read Page2, you come away feeling guilty or dirty. Why would I do that? What's the point of Page2 now? I mean really. What was the last great thing to come out of there? So that's it. I may still read Simmons from time-to-time, but that's it. I'm done. No more Page2. They suck.


The second reason why ESPN sucks is because of the crap they shove down our throats. Its gotten to the point now that most of the time when I log onto ESPN, I see a story that I just don't care about at all. Whether its Barry Bonds, TO, NHL (hoc-key?), Soccer, etc.

Right now, on the front page of ESPN is the NFL Combine. All together now: Who Cares?? The draft is in April and that's what ESPN is leading with now. Really? Here are a list of sports stories that I would think could be more interesting:

  • March Madness (as far as I know, March comes before April)
  • Baseball spring training
  • NBA season getting along
  • Golf season about to really get going soon
  • Grudingly I would understand hockey or Nascar

But no, we don't get that. We get pounded with data about the freakin' NFL draft that is like 6 weeks away. Look I am freak about the Redskins. Just seeing the word Redskins will get me to read an article (hell I read one today.) But I mean, please relax a bit here. There are many valid stories with out having to shove the NFL down our throats. I mean there are leagues that are going on RIGHT NOW that are getting pushed to the side because of this.

Another quick example: the poll questions is about TO and Randy Moss. Why do I have to hear about TO EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY??? Why can't I get a break from him? Isn't there any way that I could go until say July or Aug without hearing about him again? I know the answer. I'm sure Scoop Jackson will have an article tomorrow saying that any reporter mentioning that TO lead the league in dropped passes is racist....

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Baltimore Orioles Season Preview - Part IV

Well here we go, the final part of the season preview for the Baltimore Orioles. So far I reviewed the starting rotation, bullpen, and the infield. Today class, we are going to learn about the outfield, DH, and catcher. Why is the catcher lumped in with the outfield you ask? Because I fucking forgot to include him with the infield, okay?!? Happy?

Lets get going

Catcher - Ramon Hernadez

Ummm....he's fucking good. I will admit that when the O's signed him, I wasn't exactly doing backflips of joy, ya know. But he is a real solid prescence behind the plate with a laser, rocket arm. And his offensive numbers are really nice for a catcher (20+ hrs & almost 100 rbi). When I look at his stats, my favorite number is 144. That is how many games he played last year. When your team has a catcher who is good offensively and defensively AND he stays healthy, then you have a good thing going. Lets hope he keeps it up. If he played on a different team, there would probably be a little All-Star buzz with him.

Left Field - Jay Payton

Is he the starter? Who knows. Since I forced Huff into first earlier and I refuse to acknowledge Millar as a starter, I am going to put Payton here. This did not exactly make me happy. But that is because my only real memory of Jay Payton is having him on a fantasy team while he was a Met and trying to get a message to Bobby Valentine through his nephew to play him more so my team would get better.

But as I actually look at his numbers, I am starting to feel a little optimistic. He had a good year offensively last year although he swings at everything. His is projected to be up later in the lineup so that's okay. If the O's have a guy batting 8th or 9th who bats .296, then things will be okay.

Note: Lets hope he looks a little more excited in the field.

Center Field - Corey Patterson

No other offensive player scares me as much as Patterson. Which player is going to show up for the O's this year. When properly motivated, Patterson can be a dangerous hitter. He can hit for average (not great but okay) and he is fast as hell. But he can also flat out suck with the best of them. I mean, hell, his last year in Chicago was freakin' pathetic. He batted .215!! Last year he batted .276. So which is it. I dunno. I am afraid of this guy though. I am not expecting him to light it up.

Left Field - Nick Markakis

Just for the record, I spelled his name correctly without looking it up. This kid is awesome. Very early last year, I compared him to David Wright to a buddy of mine who is a Met's fan. My point was that he was young, home-grown, and had tons of pontential. Well my friend laughed at me like I was an idiot. And this time, he was wrong. (That makes it 9,9834 times he was correct and 14 that he was wrong in thinking that I was an idiot).

Markakis had a really good year last especially considering it was his first in the bigs. There were some tough moments but he overcame them and finished the year with some real nice numbers. Hell, if he just repeats those numbers I'd be happy. But he will probably exceed them.

Ex. There was story in the WashPost about one of his struggles last year. There was a point when other teams found a big weakness with the inside fastball. For a while it was eating him up. So what happens, he overcame it and went on a steak where he batted .500. He has a real good future ahead of him.

DH - Jay Gibbons

I will freely admit that I really like Jay Gibbons. After Cal left, he was one of the few O's that I could recognize. If he could only stay healthy (how many times has that been muttered about a professional althete?). So I am going to just go forward and assume that he stays healthy this year. If so, then the O's DH position will give them about 25hr and 100rbi. That's pretty good. If he goes down, then Millar comes in. As someone who has lived in Boston for a while now, I am pretty familiar with his work. He is streaky and can be good but not someone you want to rely on for a whole season. So lets hope the O's don't have to do that.

Now that we have looked at all of the players. Lets look at the lineup as a whole. This is based on a prelimerary lineup that Perlozzo put out. I am making one slight change and that is the removal of Millar.


  1. Roberts
  2. Mora
  3. Markakis
  4. Tejada
  5. Huff
  6. Hernandez
  7. Gibbons
  8. Payton
  9. Patterson

That's a pretty good lineup right there. 8 & 9 are really up in the air but besides that, there is some consistently.

So what does it all mean? Well if this team was playing in a vacuum, then they would be really dusty!! Thank you, thank you. Please tip your waitress. (ummm...sorry about that joke, I must be tired)

Seriously though, I think this team could finish the year with a winning record. This team has so much potential. But it won't happen. Playing the AL East is a two team division. The Blue Jays have been trying really hard lately and they finished 10 games back. I think the O's will start the year well and may stay in contention through the All-Star break. But I don't expect this team to be able to last the year. I think this is one of the better teams the O's have fielded in years now. In the end, they will be two pitchers and one outfielder short of the playoffs.

Final prediction: 78-84 4th place

Stupid Angelos

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Baltimore Orioles Season Preview - Part III

We've talked about the starting pitchers and the bullpen. So now the question is, will the O's have the offense and fielding to support the staff. Lets find out...

Today I am going to focus on the infield. Actually, the 2006 O's infield was pretty good. Wow, that statement is pretty sad when I look back on it. I have to point out that a part of the O's team didn't completely suck balls. Stupid Angelos.
Anyway, 3 of the 4 positions were fielded by above-average players last year. Unfortunately, first base was a disaster. First was Javy Lopez (see pic) and he was followed by Kevin Millar. Just kill me. But whatever, this is not a recap of 2006, this is a positive look forward to the new and improved O's of 2007
So lets look at the O's infield position by position.

Third base - Melvin Mora

The man who looks like he always wants to cry is actually a very good third basemen. And if my wife had quintuplets, I would probably look like him too. Anyway. he has been a steady offensive force for the O's at third for many years now. There is some cause for concern with him though. Mora is now 35 years old and third base isn't called the hot corner for nothing. His fielding has never been super.

My real worry is his offense. Since acquiring him from the Mets (note: I will always take the opportunity to mention when the Mets screw up with personnel due to a couple close friend who are Mets fans. Your welcome Charlie and Tom), his numbers have been great. His average is over .280 and he shows a little bit of power. But the last few years have shown a solid decline is his numbers. His batting average and obp have dropped significantly the last couple years. I am worried that he has hit the wall. If he drops again, we are talking about a batting average of like .250. So I am hoping that Mora has another good year or two in him.

Shortstop - Miguel Tejada
The O's sure know how to pick shortstops huh? Tejada is a perennial MVP candidate and a team leader. He may not have been too happy last year but all reports seem to indicate that he is ready to go this year. He seems to be back to his happy self.

I mean what can I say. He plays every game (sounds familiar). His offensive numbers are just plain awesome. He hits for power, average, doesn't strike out a ton. I mean, he's just good. And he's only 30, so he has a lot of years left in the tank.

He's been the only nationally relevant O's player recently until Chris Ray came around. Meaning without him, major news outlets would probably forget the O's even existed. At least with him around, the O's weren't used as an argument for getting rid of the "every team gets an all-star" rule. I fully expect another .315/.360/.500 year out of Tejada.

Second Base - Brian Roberts

Just saw that he was born in Durham, NC. I am so sick of Durham, NC. I have to go down there for work all the time and be surrounded by Dukies, and the other tobacco roader people. What does that have to Roberts you say? Nothing, shut up.

Roberts is a beast; just a great guy to have near the top of your lineup. He hits for a good average, some power, steals some bases, and hits for a ton of extra base hits. His fielding skills are above average as well.

So where does that leave us? With a fast, powerful, skillful batter who also fields well. Okay, twist my arm, I'll take him as my second basemen. Lets hope he just stays healthy.

First Base - Aubrey Huff

Now I'm sure some of you are saying, wait? Huff isn't officially the first baseman of the O's yet! To which I gracefully reply, please shut the hell up. I refuse to believe that Millar or anyone else will be at first base. So going forward, I am just assuming that he will be the starting first baseman for the O's.

Huff is actually a big upgrade over last year. First base was a disaster for the O's last year and having a steady offensive force will be a big boost. Huff is not going to set any records but what he will do is provide a nice punch at first. His line should be somewhere around .280/25/90.

This is all predicated on him being healthy though. He has had a few health issues that have limited his production lately. If healthy, he will be a good addition to the O's. Anything is better than dealing with Millar again.

So where does this leave the O's. Offensively, the O's are better in the infield than last year. Mora does scare me a little bit. But the idea of sitting at home with 5 kids should keep him motivated enough to produce. The upgrade at first along with all-stars in the middle of the infield means that the O's infield is actually pretty good.

How about the outfield? Well we'll tackle that next...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Baltimore Orioles Season Preview - Part II

Another night of American Idol, another long post here at Stupid Angelos. Coincidence? Yes, damn man - stop asking already.

Anyway, tonight the crack staff here at Stupid Angelos looks at the bullpen of the Orioles. We reviewed the starting pitchers yesterday and discovered that the bullpen needs to be strong in order for this team to have any chance of success.

Last year, the O's bullpen was the joke of the league. Sam Perlozzo has told stories of pitchers having high pitch counts in the first inning causuing concern. You just can't win with a bullpen like that. So any improvement in the bullpen will have a big effect on the team's overall success.

How bad was last year's bullpen? Well lets see. Some of my favorite stats are: losing record, ERA over 5, tons of walks, more hits than innings pitched, and a low number of strikeouts. In other words, the exact opposite of what you need in a bullpen.

So your team has the worst bullpen in baseball? What do you do about this? If your the O's, you completely overhaul your bullpen. How about that? The O's made some good decisions. Not great ones, but good ones. I mean what is the point of having a stud young closer if you can't get to him.

Without further ado, lets get to the preview of the O's bullpen.

Scott Williamson

Ugh. Scott has had several good years in his career. Unfortunately the last good one was 2003. His ERA for the last two years has been over 5.5. Not good. He does strikeout a decent amount of batters (just over 1 per inning).

Chad Bradford

Okay, this actually makes me feel a bit better. A pretty good arm out of the 'pen who throws sidearm. This is the type of pitcher you need to have a successful bullpen. He can come in and get a couple tough outs in the 6 or 7th innings. He has a decent ERA and is tough to hit. I think he will end up being a very productive part of this bullpen.

Dany Baez

In order to help my sanity a bit, I am going to assume that his 2006 was a fluke. If you look at his stats from the previous few years, he actually looks like a decent pitcher. Of course, he played for the Devil Rays. By the time the Ray's bullpen came in, they were losing and the other team was starting to relax. Before last year, he had a high number of innings, a reasonable ERA, and a low hits/ip ration. If he regains that form, the O's will have another strong contributor.

Jim Hoey

Here, let me. Who??? Actually, Jimmy Hoey (say that 5 times fast) was a late season call up. He had a few good outings and a few bad outings. I would not expect to see him in any close game situations.

Hayden Penn

I expect Penn to be starting by the All-Star Break when he takes Trachsel's place in the rotation. Before that, expect to see him in some long relief efforts to get him a lot of innings. Obviously, his stats didn't look so good last year. But it was his first cup-o'-coffee in the bigs. I think his stats may not be so great this year but we'll find out if he is worth the effort.

Jamie Walker

Real good guy to have in your bullpen. He eats up a lot of innings in the 7th and 8th innings. His stats look good and he seems to be another one of those guys you need to have a good bullpen.

Remember, to have a successful bullpen you only need a couple things.

  1. 2 strong setup men. (Walker and Baez)

  2. A speciality guy (Bradford)

  3. Guys who won't blow a 4 run lead (Williamson and Penn - maybe)

  4. A stud closer

So that brings me too:

Chris Ray

So, where does that leave the O's. Well the bullpen still has some questions but they are clearly improved over last year's version. If last year's version only went 20-21, this year's should do much better. Lets say they gain 5 more wins because of this bullpen. That combined with my prediction yesterday of the 52 starting pitching wins puts them at 79 wins. Can the offense carry them that far? Will the defense hold? Find out with my next post....

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Baltimore Orioles Season Preview - Part 1

Two reasons for this post:

1) It is a site named after the O's owner. It was probably time to do a post about the O's.
2) American Idol is on TV right now and Mrs. HoC is watching it. In other words, time for me to get away from the TV....

Because I don't feel like posting a 19,000 word article, I am going to break apart the O's season preview into a couple parts. This post is first in the series highlighted various sections of the team that will culminate into my final prediction for the season. Today we discuss the starting pitching.

Overall, the AL East has some of the best pitching in the league. Its not quite as strong as it was a couple years ago. Although the division still boasts names like Schilling, Mussina, and Halladay. So where does the O's starting rotation rank in the division. Not too shabby actually.

Lets look over the starting pitchers for the O's. Note: Kris Benson will be ignored for this since I am assuming that he is done for the year.

1. Erik Bedard
If you don't know this name, learn it. He's got the stuff of a #1 starter and can dominate. If he can be just a little more consistent than last year, he could make a run at 20 wins. He kept his ERA under 4 for the year and had a stretch of 8 games last year where he just owned. During this stretch, he went 7-0 with 60 Ks and an ERA of 1.45. He is young and good and getting better. Good thing to have at the top of the rotation.

Prediction: 16-8

2. Daniel Cabrera
Cabrera is....well frustrating. He has nasty stuff with a fastball that if it hit ya, would leave a two foot hole coming out. But he has no consistency. He had one outing against the Blue Jays where his line was: 9ip, 0er, 2bb, 10k. The previous outing? 4ip, 7er, 5bb, 3k. This happened all year. He was even sent down the minors for a short stint. A complete lack of consistency is not a good thing from a potential #2 starter. Note: I wanted this picture from Major League for him, so I went to Google Images and typed in: Vaughn Wild Thing....and Cabrera's picture came up. Not a good sign...

Prediction: 10-10

3. Jared Wright
The slope is becoming steeper. Jared is a sub-par starter who turned one really good year into a big contract with the Yankees who proceeded to give up after two years and now he's in Balmer. I think Jared is going to give me heartburn through the year. He only started some games last year (not all of them), gave up more hits than innings pitched, walked way too many batters, and had a high ERA. Not things you want to hear about one of your starting pitchers. The only redeming fact right now, the pitching coach from his one good year? Leo Mazzone. Lets hope that Leo can pull him back together this year.

Prediction: 14-9

4. Adam Loewen
No idea what to say here. Everyone O's fan has been hearing his name for a while now. He finally got a little playing time last year. It didn't go so well, but did it help him be ready for this year? That is the key question. If the time last year told him what he would need to make it, then maybe he'll be okay. I am not going to really break down his stats but there were some good signs: fewer hits than innings pitched and a high number of Ks.

Prediction: 8-15

5. Steve Trachsel
What is it with the O's and older Mets? When this move was first announced and I glanced at his stats, I actually thought this would work out well. But as I really looked into his stats a little deeper, I started to worry. The problems? Well there are more than a couple. He is getting up there in age (38 this year), his walks are up, his hits are up, he gives up too many HRs, and his ERA is way too high. Despite all this, he has had a good winning %. This is one of those cases where winning % is not giving you the whole story. I think Penn takes over for him right after the All-Star break.

Prediction: 4-9

Overall prediction: 52 - 51

This isn't so good. You need your starting pitching to do better than this. With starting pitching like this, the O's will need a steady bullpen, good fielding, and a powerful offense behind it. Will that happen? Stay tuned for the next section of the preview...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Talkers and the Talk That They Talk

It was very tempting to just give Tim Hardaway the next Giant Douche Award. But this site is not meant to be just a collection of douches (ESPN has that covered). Instead I am going in a slightly different direction. Presented here are the top 5 sports people who need to shut the hell up. Now I don't want this site to be all negative (although it fits my sense of humor better). So I am also presenting the top 5 people who should speak more.

Lets start with those who need to shut the fuck up. Narrowing this list down to 5 people was pretty tough. About 98% of people involved in sports talk too much and say really idiotic things. Here's the list:

5. Len Pasquarelli
This fat fuck makes the list for two reasons. One, he hates the Redskins. He blatantly hates the Redskins and their fans. I am not going to go into this in detail. If you want to read more on this, goto ExtremeSkins. Secondly, he allows his hatred to affect his Hall of Fame voting. Basically, he won't vote for Art Monk. Now again, I am not going to get into this because then I will want to break something. Anyone who allows his opinion on a certain team and their fans to affect his vote on the Hall of Fame should not be allowed to vote. For these reasons, Len should just shut up.

4. Mike Tyson
I know a lot of people might disagree with this one. Don't take this to mean that I dislike Mike, but he needs to go off into Bolivion already. Everytime he opens his mouth now, his next prison term gets longer. For his own safety, someone needs to take him to some island where he can't get in trouble and keep him heavily medicated. This is why Mike Tyson needs to shut up.

3. Barry Bonds
Where to start? There are so many reasons why I dislike him. The cheating, lying, and general assholeness of Barry Bonds have been well documented. He lets his friends go to jail to protect him. He cheats. He also talks out of his ass. Not too long ago, he went off calling Boston "too racist" to play in. The kicker, he had never been to Boston. Now it is well known that Boston has had a horribble history when it comes to racism. But things change, they always do. Did he ask Paul Peirce, Asante Samuel, or Manny if Boston was still racist? No. The best part? The Giants come to Fenway this year and I have tickets. I will enjoy this.

2. Shannon Sharpe
I actually have nothing against Shannon Sharpe. He is just really ugly and I can't stand the way that he speaks. No funny jokes, no commentary...just a plea for him to stop talking.

1. Tim Harway
Let me put it this way, I now assume that he is gay. (Quick sidebar: Here at Stupid Angelos, my staff and I love all the peoples of the world with no consideration of their race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Although there are exceptions: Yankee fans, Cowboy fans, and Jeffery Maier). So right now, Tim Hardaway needs to shut up more than anyone else in sports.

Lets move on to the more positive side of this post. Those in sports who need to speak more. They give us inspiration, humor, and idealism. They are fun to listen to and great to read.

5. Frank Robinson
One of the greatest baseball players ever. He has lived through some shit and come out clean on the other side (yes, I am allowed to quote from Shawshank too. Simmons doesn't own the rights to the damn movie). People should stop what they are doing when he speaks.

4.David Stern
Best Commissioner in sports right now. He rules with an iron fist, is adept at keeping his league in the news, and isn't afraid to take on anyone. He is smart, funny, and rigs the league. (note: I don't really believe this but I want to believe because its really interesting). I get the feeling that when he retires, he will write one of the most interesting sport's books ever. Now if he would just shorten the playoffs....

3. Cal Ripken
Cal has saved baseball before. He speaks with honesty and value, both of which are lacking in our society today. He cares about the game of baseball and about how people approach the game. He owns minor league teams and spends his time with little leaguers because he wants to teach the game correctly. We could all learn a lesson from Cal. He should be more a public figure than he has been.

2. Chad Johnson
This is one funny mutha-fucka. I really don't like it when he gets lumped in with TO. Chad does nothing but work really hard and also get on TV. He doesn't start fights on the bench and he doesn't get arrested (which is very rare on his team). He doesn't fake suicide attempts to get on the news. He is really talented and funny. And he should be more o....HUGH!!!

1. Charles Barkley
Do I really even have to explain this one? The round mound of rebound is just awesome to listen to. I'm not sure its possible for him to be out in the public more than he is already. But I hope he stays there.

Let me know who I missed from both lists....

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Giant Douche Award - O'Niel Bell

The second Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award is presented to: O'Niel Bell

Today's lesson:

Q: When is it time to find a new sparring partner?
A: When they start throwing hachets at you

Okay so lets review. Here are facts from this story:

  • O'Neil Bell is the World Cruiser Weight Champion
  • Larry Slayton is a 37 year old sparring partner to O'Neil Bell.
  • The two were running in the woods.
  • Apparently they like to run in woods full of bears because Bell had an ax with him to fend off bears
  • There was an argument
  • Bell throws an ax at Slayton
  • Slayton runs away

I don't even know where to go from here. There are two many jokes to make. So lets begin with looking at this from Slayton's point-of-view. This man needs to seriously re-examine his life. If you are 37 and a sparring partner, it may be time for some night-school classes. Or at least become a coach, why would you subject yourself to being beaten up so that the guy beating you up has a better shot of beating up someone else? Maybe its just me. Then, if the place that you jog has so many bears around that you need to carry an ax....FIND A NEW DAMN PLACE TO RUN!!! I mean, what sort of person decides that a trail full of bears is a good workout spot for you. Its times like this the term Natural Selection comes to mind.

Now from Bell's point-of-view, this gets really good. So lets say that you are a trained fighter - a champion even. Lets say that you get into an argument with that person. Do you:

A) tell him that you are upset, work out your feelings with the guy, and share a snickers?
B) repress your feelings since you are a guy?
C) use your lifetime of training to fight the guy?
D) throw an ax at him?

Well if your first name is O'Neil, then apparently you throw an ax at him. Thus earning yourself the Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award.

Congrats O'Neil. Enjoy prison.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

First Ever Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award: Boston - Stupidest City in America

Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award

That's right, its the first annual...weekly...daily Stupid Angelos Giant Douche Award. The innagural winner is none other than Boston's mayor Thomas Menino

For the record, that is him on the right.

This site is lucky enough to have an interview with our honorable mayor about the situation with the lite-brites in Boston.

SA: Thank you so much for talking to us sir. I'm sure you are very busy today

Menino: unintelligible mumbling

SA: Ummm, thanks. So what was the reason for Boston reacting in such an extreme manner to this ad campaign?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling

SA: Okkkkkkkkay. Did you realize that these small, harmless boxes had been in Boston for 3 weeks now?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling chowdah!! unintelligible mumbling

SA: So how can you explain the fact that many other cities had this ad campaign and did not react like Boston did?

Menino: unintelligible mumbling *takes plain white envelope from a teamster*

SA: What do you have to say to those of us who are now embarrassed to be associated with Boston?

Menino: Gooooooo Sox

SA: Thank you for your time, you Giant Douche.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Real quick - I really like my logo. I think it sums up my attitude real well....

About Me and the Blog

Couple quick hits about me:
  • Born in DC
  • Lived inside the beltway in MD until college
  • Went to high school in DC
  • Love the Redskins
  • Love the O's
  • Root for the Terps
  • Went to college and still live in Boston
  • Married

That's it. That's the list. This blog will not be me writing about me. This will be me writing stuff mostly about sports and hopefully funny sometimes. I will not write about my day. I will not write about my home life, or my commute, or my dog (I might break this rule), or my job, or anything like that. The only time I will write about me is when I do something sports related (expect if I play golf - nobody but nobody wants to hear about someone else' s golf game). I can't promise I won't bore you with fantasy details once in a while...

Sometimes I'll write about non-sports stuff. I love music, politics, Madden, beer, slacking ummm...what was I talking about, I got a little distracted. Another thing, I do have a life. So we'll see how often I update this. I get the feeling it will depend entirely on how busy I am at work. But outside of work, I have a wife, a house, friends, and shit to do (starting with playing Madden). So this is not my first priority, but I want to give it a shot.

Things to know:

  • This will contain many inside jokes from Deadspin
  • I suck at spelling - deal with it
  • U2 is the greatest band ever - no arguments
  • Apparently I really like to use ordered lists
  • Also I am a computer nerd (Engineering Degree in Comp Sci) so I may spout some incredibly mundane useless crap once in a while - again deal with it

My biggest influence for doing this is Deadspin. I am not trying to compete with that site (or even the gay mafia at KSK). This is just a stupid blog, but hopefully once in a while I will put out something good and/or funny.

It Begins

Where to begin. Well I guess let me explain the title. Those of you coming from Deadpsin know exactly where it came from but for those who didn't....

Peter Angelos is an old decreptid dick who owns the Baltimore Orioles. Having grown up in DC/MD, I grew up rooting for the O's. Then this slick, ambulance chaser comes in and buys my team. At first, he takes the Daniel Synder approach (more on him later). Its fun, the O's make the playoffs. Then a little 12 year old bastard ruin my fun. Anyway, he takes the Synder approach again the next years. Again they makes the playoffs. Great team by the way.

The 1996 - 1997 Orioles were a ton of fun to watch. Pat Gillick, as GM, brought in a slew of high quality players to compliment Cal - the greatest SS of all time. Great players, great manager, great GM, and even a great announcer (Jon Miller before Joe Morgan made him insane). Then the greedy lowlife dick decides he'd rather test the patience of one of the most loyal fanbases in all of baseball.
  • He got rid of most of the good players
  • He got rid of the mananger
  • He got rid of the GM
  • He even got rid of the announcer (still don't get that one).
  • He signs Albert Belle (ugh!, that fucking worked out well)
  • He signs Sammy Sosa (ow, my ass is beginning to hurt)

All this accomplishes is pissing off a fanbase that had been constant for 50 years! Stupid Fucking Angelos. So where are we now? The O's might as well be the Royals...damn it. Do you realize how much it sucks when you know going into EVERY SINGLE DAMN YEAR that your team will suck?!?! Sorry, my inner SAS came out a bit there - WHERE ARE MY CHEESE DOODLES??

Anyway, so Peter Angelos sucks.


Okay so here we go. Wonder if this will get me fired....

Anyway, welcome to Stupid Angelos. More to come soon